All for a smile
by starlitomega
Summary: After a tragic event Twilight tries to numb herself to the pain and nearly loses the most important thing in her life.


Twilight slouched at her desk staring numbly at the tools of her trade. Too many thoughts rattled around her head, fighting for her attention. So many, in fact, that she would have trouble just choosing one to report to the princess.

It was for the best really. That's what she kept telling herself. It was what kept the doubt and pain at bay. Sure it might hurt her here and now, but she would suffer if it meant the one she cared about could be happy again.

*_Slam!_

Twilight sprang from her seat, startled by the slamming door. Her eyes fell upon the pony staring back at her.

"AJ, you scared me!"

"Good! From tha sound of things, ya might be needin somepony to scare some sense back into ya!"

Twilight sighed, she had just convinced herself it was for the best, and now it looked like she'd have to sway another pony.

"AJ, she needs somepony else..."

"So that's it? Ya'll are just gonna let her go?" Applejack asked.

"If you love something, you should set it free."

The cowpony slammed her hooves forcefully on the hardwood floor causing Twilight to flinch.

"That's jus plain stupid! What's the point of loving something ya can't keep?"

"Well… it's like the old saying; you can't have your cake and eat it too."

"That's even dumber! What's the point of havin cake iffn ya can't eat it? Stop hiding behind these silly quotes and get her back!"

Twilight rolled her eyes, "It isn't that simple…"

"Yes it is! Ya know, I've known ya ta be smart, strong, maybe a little crazy, but I've never known ya ta be a coward!"

"You don't know what it's like!" Twilight snapped. One look at the dangerous gleam in Applejack's eyes told her she had gone too far. "Omigosh, I'm so sorry AJ, I didn't mean that! I wasn't thinking, I just have so much jumping around in my head and-"

"It's ok Twi. I know ya didn't mean it, otherwise I woulda bucked ya right out tha window." Applejack reached forward and pulled the unicorn into a hug. It had been so long since Twilight had any sort of physical contact with anyone else that she simply melted into the cowpony's soft embrace. "I know Iit's hard hun, but she thinks she failed ya," Applejack whispered softly. "The truth is ya haven't really tried, have ya? She's only leaving because she thinks she can't be the pony you need her to be."

Twilight felt the tears return. She had fought them for so long, but no matter how numb she got, or how she tried to harden her heart, the horrible feelings were always there, waiting for an opening. She reluctantly followed suit as Applejack pushed her away gently.

"If ya wanna make this right, ya got about thirty minutes before the train gets here and run the risk of losing her. What's it gonna be Twi? Ya gonna hide behind fancy quotes, or are ya gonna get her back?"

Twilight nodded solemnly to her friend and flew out the door like a shot. She ran through the library as fast as she could, ignoring the numerous cards and decorations that the townsponies and her friends had dropped off to help her through such a difficult time. The night sky greeted her as she bolted out the front door. She galloped through town on pure instinct as most of her mind was still consumed in endless thought. She had only been running for a few minutes when the burning, aching feeling in her chest kicked in. It had been quite awhile since she had left the library and it showed. Despite the screaming pain in her legs, she pushed forward until the train station came into view.

Barring a holiday, the Ponyville train station never had a crowd of commuters and tonight was no exception. It was quite easy spotting the mare among the three other ponies milling about while waiting for the train.

"Pinkie!" Twilight shouted.

The Pink pony slowly turned her way. The shimmer she loved, that spark of life, of fun, seemed absent from her eyes.

"Pinkie!" Twilight said again, coming to a halt in front of her friend. "You can't go!"

"I... I have to Twilight. I can't help you. It hurts too much to be here anymore." The pink pony admitted sadly

Twilight shook her head. Suddenly she realized how much time and energy Pinkie had put into cheering her up while she was down. It started out small at first; Pinkie would leave out one of her favorite cupcakes or do one of the small chores in the library. Before long though, the gestures became more and more extravagant until they culminated into a candlelit dinner with her favorite music playing. And to all of this, Twilight had wordlessly gone to bed, leaving her friend at the table alone.

"Pinkie... I'm... I'm sorry," Twilight pleaded. "I know you've been trying to help me. I've just been too stubborn to see it." Twilight lowered her head in shame, "I just couldn't handle losing her, so I kept running away. As long as I didn't think about it, it wasn't real, but I was hurting you by running away. Please don't go Pinkie; I'll do anything you want."

"Anything?" the pink pony asked rubbing her chin.

"Yes! Anything!"

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at the unicorn. "Fine. I want you to gimmie a smile."

Twilight blinked incredulously, "Wait, what?"

"You heard me, I want you to smile," the pink pony repeated.

Twilight sat for a moment before realizing it had been quite awhile since she last smiled, so long in fact that she wasn't even sure she remembered how to.

"Well?" Pinkie asked impatiently.

The terseness in the pink mare's voice caught her off guard. She didn't really wanna push her luck with the train coming any moment now, "_You can do this Twilight, it's just a simple smile."_ She worked her jaw for a moment, loosening her muscles before pulling her lips upwards into something she hoped resembled a smile. Pinkie glared back at her, seemingly unimpressed with her efforts. Or was she? Twilight saw the corners of the pink mare's mouth start to curl, her eyes started to shimmer. Twilight jumped back as Pinkie fell into a fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

Pinkie simply pointed to the train station window. The unicorn peered at her reflection in the window only to be greeted by a goofy grin.

"Heh, heh, I look ridiculous!" she said laughing at the silliness of it all.

"Now _that's _what I wanted to see"

"Huh?"

"Look again!" Pinkie said.

Twilight took another glance, this time instead of a forced and cheesy grin, a genuine smile beamed back at her. Before she could react a flash of pink pulled her into a tight hug.

"It's good to see you smile again." Pinkie whispered into her ear.

Twilight rested her head softly on the pink mare's shoulder

"I'm sorry…" Pinkie said, her voice filled with sorrow.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Twilight asked.

"Sorry I couldn't make you smile, sorry you lost your mom, sorry I almost left you, take your pick."

Twilight felt the tears play at her eyes again. "Why Pinkie… Why would you leave?"

"I…I saw you falling apart and nothing I could do could fix it! I mean, of course I couldn't _fix it_, but I figured if I could at least make you smile everything would be ok. But after three weeks I still couldn't get you to come out of your room..."

Pinkie pulled out of the embrace, tears streaming down her face which shimmered in her sky blue eyes. The very same eyes Twilight fell for two years ago.

"I thought we were done, but I just couldn't sit around and wait for you to tell me it was over, so I left. You're not mad at me… are you?"

Twilight smiled again, another genuine smile. "Of course not! I'm the one who should be sorry, not you. I figured if I just kept away from everything, I could get over it. I didn't think about how you might feel. It just seemed easier to handle things on my own. I can't believe I almost let you leave Ponyville forever."

Pinkie tilted her head curiously, "Forever? Who said anything about leaving forever?"

"W, Well, I mean… I just kind of assumed…" Twilight sputtered.

"I wasn't leaving forever. I mean that's like _forever_! I just thought we could both use a little time to ourselves and out of each other's manes. I have way too many friends here in Ponyville to just leave like that!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Still, it would've been really boring without you around."

"Don't worry about it. I'm here to stay and everything's A-ok now!" Pinkie exclaimed putting her leg over the purple mare's neck.

"Thanks Pinkie, for giving me my smile back."

_Dear Princess Celestia, _

_ Sometimes when bad things happen we might try to retreat into ourselves, away from the very ponies we should be running to. It's easy to avoid the pain of a loss or a failure, but unless you actually confront these problems you'll never move on. Better to confront them with somepony who you can count on to be by your side. _

_ Your faithful student, _

_ Twilight Sparkle_

_ P.S. Thank you for attending the funeral and for bringing the Lily and Heart's Desire arrangement. I'm sure mom loved them very much. _


End file.
